Where did those weeks go?

The moment when you realise you haven't written your blog for so long!
Sorry to any avid readers....not sure there are any yet but sorry just the same.
As I shared in my last blog I gave up smoking after having a chest infection and fever, the greatest news is that I have remained smoke free since - so now I'm in my 11th week.
It has not been easy and continues to be a struggle sometimes but I have managed this far and I am so proud of myself.
It is a filthy habit and one that I realise was a MAJOR part of my life, my habit is still niggling away at me and the after effects are only just beginning.
I have put on weight but I can lose it, I can't get new lungs, or a healthy respiratory system but I can lose weight.
While I have been trying desperately to keep busy and keep smoke-free I have been doing the garden, mostly raking leaves and putting them in bags for leaf mould next year.

 

I have been selling plants but sadly have given up my two days in Brixton market - I may be starting somewhere else - there's a new street market opening in South Lambeth Road, next to the Tate Library. I fancy I might help that get of the ground.
I've been selling from my garden too, small but steady business so if you are one of my neighbours and have just joined me I'll be doing the newsletter very soon.
I have also done a course in myofascial release - an addition my growing massage repertoire.
I've been busy.............

 

making Kokedama moss balls, which I will be selling at Christmas and next year, I have a company called Kokedama London. Making these is such a meditation, I will become obsessed - they are so beautiful - here are some hanging ones.

 

Flowers to make you feel better

So, I've been struggling to get well for the past week after a seriously challenging chest infection following a normal cold virus. On Sunday night I was shivering with cold under my duvet although sweating with heat on the outside.

Everything smelt incredibly bad, I couldn't face food, was waking up every half hour to use the toilet.

The next day I felt so weak but I had to get up and go to the market to sell plants as usual, I had a zipcar van booked for 5.30am. I got up, showered, tried to make myself move, got dressed, put my shoes on then just stopped. What on earth was I doing? I need to start earning an income but come on! When your body tells you something is wrong you better bloody well listen to it.

I called Zipcar, who were incredibly kind, thank you, cancelled the van. Peeled off my clothes and climbed back under the duvet where I pretty much stayed until Wednesday.

Today I feel a lot like me again - since Wednesday I have cut the grass in the garden, picked myself the beautiful bouquet shown in the picture.
I've washed all the white bed linen, curtains, cushion covers and any clothes lying around in my bedroom since I became ill. I've cleaned and purified my bedroom and have aligned my precious stones on the windowsill for their own cleansing ritual.

On Sunday when I felt at my worst I stopped smoking because I could not bear the thought of hurting my lungs any longer and certainly not while I was feeling so ill. Every day since then I have vowed that I will never smoke again.

Things that I learned during this horrible (and fantastic) week - that drinking Yarrow tea will break a fever and help you to sweat it out, getting that poison and toxic substances out of your body through the sweat. That giving up smoking causes many after effects as your body tries to regain its equilibrium. Giving up is a true act of love for yourself.

I pray I continue to love myself enough to stay strong.

It feels very, very good to be alive and moving towards better health.