January 2016 - Time for action

Today I woke early, I was going out for a long walk with my sister, she bought me the beautiful piece of indian embroidered cloth above from the exhibition on indian textiles at the V&A. We had planned, if the weather were to be dry, to do the Beverley Brook Walk, roughly from New Malden to Putney following the river. The walk is 6.5 miles and takes (it is said) about 3 hours. The sun was shining at 9am so I was eager to get up, get ready and get going. Unfortunately, big sister was not feeling great, a sore throat and cough - in no condition to go traipsing over wet parks and commons for 3 hours.

I turned my attention to emails, catching up with pre-Xmas jobs, setting my mind once again to trying to stay off benefit and earn some kind of income.

My massage work now has a few clients, my confidence in that is coming along in leaps and bounds but massage for many is a luxury they can't afford. I've decided to try to find an organisation that can offer subsidised massage therapy to people who need it the most but who have not got that kind of money to spare. I'd like to offer the Ayurvedic facial rejuvenation to older people - it's a very loving, nurturing treatment that relieves stress and promotes deep relaxation.

I have been selling on a stall in South Lambeth Road but there aren't many plants available at the moment - at the end of January on 30th (Saturday) I am organising a Boot Fair on Wilcox Close, everyone loves a boot fair don't they?

So, I did the necessary couple of hours on the computer and then just had to leave the house to enjoy some winter sun and fresh air. As is often the case, when I leave the house and need some nature, I make my way to Clapham Common and then up to Richmond, gravitating to Petersham Nurseries for lunch, plants, meadows, fields, river, trees, birds - breath, relax, enjoy.

I did and dreamt of winning or earning enough money to live in the area, near the river, of working in Petersham Nurseries a couple of days a week, of not worrying about the lack of money coming in and my savings getting low.

Life is for living, I really don't want to do anything anymore that doesn't make me happy, that doesn't speak to my soul and enable it to soar.

Lost and found

autumn and now cold

crab apple

So, today I got outside but the weather has now turned and my hands were freezing! A wonderful shade of mottled red, orange and purple.

They soon warmed up after I planted a few bulbs, I just have a feeling the squirrels will find them before the day is out.

I put out some fat balls for the birds only a couple of days ago, one set of three has already been devoured by those squirrels......so greedy.

This morning I tackled the cupboard under the stairs - its one of those jobs that takes an hour but fester for a year, or in my case, longer. So I threw out stuff that had absolutely no use to me at all, it didn't have any use ten years ago but I would hang on to it. One bag had two old mobile phones that were in pieces and an old walkman, about a hundred mobile phone instruction books - what on earth????

I did come across my first pair of Birkenstocks, sitting unloved and forlorn on top of a paint tray, nursing ten years of dust. They scrubbed up rather well, despite the little hole over my little toe. I loved these birkies, friend of mine in Amsterdam bought them for me when the children were young and I spent so many wonderful holidays with her and her children, either there or here.

I have returned to Friday yoga at Yoga Point, Terry Morin gives a beautiful class, the class is for older bodies and really feels beneficial. I still attend the Ferndale Leisure Centre class on Wednesday and appreciate that both are helping me with my old bones - sometimes I feel so stiff.

Looking forward to giving two facial rejuvenation treatments next week - I am determined to gain confidence and keep pushing on until I make a business for myself, this and the plants are what I love, what makes me happy and I know that if I put in the effort and the positive vibration I will eventually earn a living out of them both. I read this the other day on a yoga instagram that I subscribe to, I believe it.

'the things that excite you are not random. They are connected to your purpose. Follow them.'

Blackbird in trouble

Over the past few days the female blackbird that has been nesting in the grape vine since early spring has been sitting still for hours on various branches near the house.

I first noticed her a week or more ago, in fact I commented to my daughter that this bird is behaving strangely.

Yesterday I had a garden day - tidying up, mowing the lawn, watering and there she was, sitting in the beech tree, still, huddled, puffed out. She was chirping but it was a mournful, quiet kind of chirp, weak and plaintive. Her mate kept flying in, landing next to her with morsels of food in his mouth. He tried, unsuccessfully, to feed her only for her to turn her head each time in refusal. He spent a good deal of time sitting on the larger cherry tree just watching her from afar.

At twilight I checked to see if she was still there, she was not. I walked up the garden for my final look of the day, admiring the runner beans that cascade down from the supports, I heard a rustling near my feet and there she was - she'd been in amongst the swiss chard. She hopped away and slid under the tomatoes and courgettes. I left her to it.

When I had observed her and her mate yesterday I spent time near her sending her some healing energy - I couldn't help her any other way.

This morning I went out at 7am to check the place she usually sits - she wasn't there - I turned to come back inside the house and as I turned I saw her, sitting in the Indian bean tree right at eye level. She looked at me, blinked, looked around but didn't move other than that, she was so close I could have touched her. She does look ill and must be so, or she would have flown off when I talked to her.
I pray she manages to get through whatever is troubling her.

Today the garden is hosting a family lunch - so I'll be cooking all day - Italian fish stew, roast beetroot, butternut squash and artichoke pasta, lamb potatoes and salad - and I have two massages to give before then - both full body. My good friend from Amsterdam is staying for a week so we will have a fantastic day - the weather promises to behave, we will have sun. My garden looks ready to host the day.