Everything smelt incredibly bad, I couldn't face food, was waking up every half hour to use the toilet.
The next day I felt so weak but I had to get up and go to the market to sell plants as usual, I had a zipcar van booked for 5.30am. I got up, showered, tried to make myself move, got dressed, put my shoes on then just stopped. What on earth was I doing? I need to start earning an income but come on! When your body tells you something is wrong you better bloody well listen to it.
I called Zipcar, who were incredibly kind, thank you, cancelled the van. Peeled off my clothes and climbed back under the duvet where I pretty much stayed until Wednesday.
Today I feel a lot like me again - since Wednesday I have cut the grass in the garden, picked myself the beautiful bouquet shown in the picture.
I've washed all the white bed linen, curtains, cushion covers and any clothes lying around in my bedroom since I became ill. I've cleaned and purified my bedroom and have aligned my precious stones on the windowsill for their own cleansing ritual.
On Sunday when I felt at my worst I stopped smoking because I could not bear the thought of hurting my lungs any longer and certainly not while I was feeling so ill. Every day since then I have vowed that I will never smoke again.
Things that I learned during this horrible (and fantastic) week - that drinking Yarrow tea will break a fever and help you to sweat it out, getting that poison and toxic substances out of your body through the sweat. That giving up smoking causes many after effects as your body tries to regain its equilibrium. Giving up is a true act of love for yourself.
I pray I continue to love myself enough to stay strong.
It feels very, very good to be alive and moving towards better health.
